Bangkok, Thailand
Howdy all, I'm sitting here with Neil, his knee bandaged, his skin infection (guess where, girls) clearing, 3 rabies jabs to go, and gamely hoping for a flight home. Ta da! Wandering Travel Agent to the rescue (ain't STA grand, they send us out to help people, I need a raise though). We're working on getting his flights arranged so he can go home and rest his knee. I'm not asking about treatment for the rash, some things are best left unkown. Last night was, well, interesting. The lads, Tom and Neil, informed me on my arrival that they'd been waiting for me to go to one of Bangkok's infamous Ping Pong shows. How can I say no? They were depending on me.
We pause at this moment to issue a warning, the next bit is about some fairly graphic sexual acts to those less than interested skip down a bit to where it says it's safe again. The bottom bit's okay, and discusses Mildred's mental state at 6.45 am on 90 minutes rest. Like an angel from heaven dipped in sugar I tell you, une sucre lapine.
We round up a pleasant party of people to go Ping Pong peeping. The Boys and I, Mildred on her last night in Bangkok (and Thailand for that matter), and Stacey on her first day back from the islands. I ran into Kelda (I hope I'm even close), a Scottish lass I'd met in Melbourne, and 2 others from Glascow she'd met on the bus here. A happy group. I think there was Paddy too, there generally ends up being one in the mix, you know?
Tuk Tuk (however you spell'em), were hailed and we were off to the races, 3 tuk tuk with screaming tourists off to see Sin.
Yup, was a sex show alright. We walked in to find a couple copulating on stage. That led to further scenes of wonder, revulsion and humor. I had myself as merry a time as one can have in such a place, for some reason they asked me to pull a fairly long chain out of one girl and then stick a ping pong ball in another (something was lubed to the tilt, the balls or her, I don't know which). The creme de la creme, or what set Tom off, laughing for 10 minutes was miss blow gun girl. This is where they blow air out of their nether region (I prefer the British term "Fanny Fart," so I'm gonna use it here on in), with such force as to blow out candles on a cake (wasn't a good cake at all) and shoot darts, both with the aid of the big straw/blow gun.
Fine, but why did this one woman just give me a balloon? I held it at arms length in the general direction of where Miss Blow Gun was aimed, but they asked me to get on stage and put the balloon between my legs. Great. I covered my balls. Turned out that was unnecessary as she missed and got me in the leg. I was rather put out about that. To but it bluntly,
I GOT SHOT IN THE LEG BY A WOMAN'S PUSSY!!!!
Why do these things keep happening to me? I suspect it was because I got a case of the giggles during the lesbian scene and ended up having the two girls on stage in a fit of laughter. One finally knocked the other over with a boob butt (heh heh, but you know what I mean).
The string of razor blades, now that's the one that always makes everyone shift uncomfortably in their chair. She seemed okay though, and I've seen guys swallow swords too, so...I dunno, better her than me?
IT IS SAFE TO START READING AGAIN
The Scots fled shortly after we arrived. We ended up being there for about 40 minutes or so, at which point, the lights came up and we jumped in the Tuk Tuks and headed for home.
Upon, arriving back on Khao San Rd, we promptly bumped into half a dozen people I vaguely recognized and started talking a dozen more.
One of which was Alexi, who said, "Bonjour, do you remember me from the Full Moon Party?" I asked him to narrow that down a bit, but then my brain kicked in and I did remember meeting him during the day party, un homme de francais, which I like to try and practice des temps en temps. Alexi told me that I'm somewhere on the Full Moon DVD (I'm famous!) and consoled Tom and Neil with the blessing of a late night smoke. We, in turn, consoled Alexi when France drew 1-1 with S. Korea or Japan.
Oh, a quick digression. I had fun actually watching a US World Cup match the other night, it's the first time that I can remember actually watching one. We drew even with the Italians, and I got to yell, "America, Fuck Ya!" out the goal when we scored (I didn't realize it was actually the Italians scoring on themselves).
The night got late. From the street we ended up in the boy's room and later, I walked into a room of total strangers, before managing to break into my room (Mildred had gone to bed by this point, and locked the door).
Mildred was not, despite earlier claims, a morning person, though I put that down to the fact that she'd had no more than 90 minutes sleep at that point. I roused her, and got her out the door by 7.20 to get make her flight home.
Mildred dear, I hope you made it safe and sound.
Then I rested, being woken a few hours by the lobby asking for today's rent. First time I've had a phone in my room, oye, it's a bitch. On the plus side, I'm now realizing that if anyone out there wants to try and call me you can probably be put through to my room. Cool, that's different. At any rate, the number here is (662) 629-0529. Room 2228.
I was also shaken from my rest over the course of the day by one brazilian girl, the English Doctors, and a viking that came stomping through.
Have I mentioned Hilda? I don't think she likes me very much. Frankly, the novelty of it is such a joy, even if she isn't.
So, here I sit, typing away as the markets of Bangkok beckon. I've gone shopping with the boys and Mildred the past few days, taking in the sights and figuring out what I might like to buy. So far, I've managed to spend about 30USD on various items. Yes, of course I've already starting buying Sunnies, they cost about 3.75USD here. Bought a few other items and took stock of several others. Packages will be shipped, on the high tide.
Well, that's a whirlwind account of my comings and goings, to be continued...
We pause at this moment to issue a warning, the next bit is about some fairly graphic sexual acts to those less than interested skip down a bit to where it says it's safe again. The bottom bit's okay, and discusses Mildred's mental state at 6.45 am on 90 minutes rest. Like an angel from heaven dipped in sugar I tell you, une sucre lapine.
We round up a pleasant party of people to go Ping Pong peeping. The Boys and I, Mildred on her last night in Bangkok (and Thailand for that matter), and Stacey on her first day back from the islands. I ran into Kelda (I hope I'm even close), a Scottish lass I'd met in Melbourne, and 2 others from Glascow she'd met on the bus here. A happy group. I think there was Paddy too, there generally ends up being one in the mix, you know?
Tuk Tuk (however you spell'em), were hailed and we were off to the races, 3 tuk tuk with screaming tourists off to see Sin.
Yup, was a sex show alright. We walked in to find a couple copulating on stage. That led to further scenes of wonder, revulsion and humor. I had myself as merry a time as one can have in such a place, for some reason they asked me to pull a fairly long chain out of one girl and then stick a ping pong ball in another (something was lubed to the tilt, the balls or her, I don't know which). The creme de la creme, or what set Tom off, laughing for 10 minutes was miss blow gun girl. This is where they blow air out of their nether region (I prefer the British term "Fanny Fart," so I'm gonna use it here on in), with such force as to blow out candles on a cake (wasn't a good cake at all) and shoot darts, both with the aid of the big straw/blow gun.
Fine, but why did this one woman just give me a balloon? I held it at arms length in the general direction of where Miss Blow Gun was aimed, but they asked me to get on stage and put the balloon between my legs. Great. I covered my balls. Turned out that was unnecessary as she missed and got me in the leg. I was rather put out about that. To but it bluntly,
I GOT SHOT IN THE LEG BY A WOMAN'S PUSSY!!!!
Why do these things keep happening to me? I suspect it was because I got a case of the giggles during the lesbian scene and ended up having the two girls on stage in a fit of laughter. One finally knocked the other over with a boob butt (heh heh, but you know what I mean).
The string of razor blades, now that's the one that always makes everyone shift uncomfortably in their chair. She seemed okay though, and I've seen guys swallow swords too, so...I dunno, better her than me?
IT IS SAFE TO START READING AGAIN
The Scots fled shortly after we arrived. We ended up being there for about 40 minutes or so, at which point, the lights came up and we jumped in the Tuk Tuks and headed for home.
Upon, arriving back on Khao San Rd, we promptly bumped into half a dozen people I vaguely recognized and started talking a dozen more.
One of which was Alexi, who said, "Bonjour, do you remember me from the Full Moon Party?" I asked him to narrow that down a bit, but then my brain kicked in and I did remember meeting him during the day party, un homme de francais, which I like to try and practice des temps en temps. Alexi told me that I'm somewhere on the Full Moon DVD (I'm famous!) and consoled Tom and Neil with the blessing of a late night smoke. We, in turn, consoled Alexi when France drew 1-1 with S. Korea or Japan.
Oh, a quick digression. I had fun actually watching a US World Cup match the other night, it's the first time that I can remember actually watching one. We drew even with the Italians, and I got to yell, "America, Fuck Ya!" out the goal when we scored (I didn't realize it was actually the Italians scoring on themselves).
The night got late. From the street we ended up in the boy's room and later, I walked into a room of total strangers, before managing to break into my room (Mildred had gone to bed by this point, and locked the door).
Mildred was not, despite earlier claims, a morning person, though I put that down to the fact that she'd had no more than 90 minutes sleep at that point. I roused her, and got her out the door by 7.20 to get make her flight home.
Mildred dear, I hope you made it safe and sound.
Then I rested, being woken a few hours by the lobby asking for today's rent. First time I've had a phone in my room, oye, it's a bitch. On the plus side, I'm now realizing that if anyone out there wants to try and call me you can probably be put through to my room. Cool, that's different. At any rate, the number here is (662) 629-0529. Room 2228.
I was also shaken from my rest over the course of the day by one brazilian girl, the English Doctors, and a viking that came stomping through.
Have I mentioned Hilda? I don't think she likes me very much. Frankly, the novelty of it is such a joy, even if she isn't.
So, here I sit, typing away as the markets of Bangkok beckon. I've gone shopping with the boys and Mildred the past few days, taking in the sights and figuring out what I might like to buy. So far, I've managed to spend about 30USD on various items. Yes, of course I've already starting buying Sunnies, they cost about 3.75USD here. Bought a few other items and took stock of several others. Packages will be shipped, on the high tide.
Well, that's a whirlwind account of my comings and goings, to be continued...
posted by Bob Stein at 5:30 AM
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